BAH!!! I’m feeling really down!!! I don’t know why. But I’m tired and I have no motivation. But I’m looking forward till tomorrow, because I’m borrowing my boyfriends car tomorrow, so I’m going to get out of my home town for the day because this place drives me insane!!! So escaping this town might make me feel better! So yeah!! I’ll be taking photo’s of my day tomorrow :D Hehe, so you can all see!
Xx
I’m done, I’m done talking about what pisses me off in a relationship. I’m finished with it because I’m over caring right now. I told him he can what he wants and that I don’t give a dam anymore. I mean if he cheats on or hit me then it’s over, but I don’t care if his being a hypocrite, if he puts his life in danger… I just don’t care.
Anyway… I actually managed to leave the past behind quite easily! But it just proved that stuff you didn’t know about the past is always going to come and slap you in the face
Xx
Okay so I’ve officially decided. As of tomorrow, my past is my past and my future is THE future.
I’m going to try and forget the past. Act like none of my past has happened. The past really shouldn’t affect the future. I mean I know you should always learn from the past, but still, I think I’m letting stupid things get to me. Like my boyfriends past flings, I mean way before he even met me. I really think I need to stop letting shit like that piss me off. So as of tomorrow I’m going to try for a clean slate!
Here’s to hoping
Xx
I’m confused. And I can’t say what I’m about to write aloud to any of my friends because I’m 95% sure it will get back to my boyfriend.
I love him, but I don’t think I love him enough and I truly believe that his making it harder but saying that he doesn’t think I love him anymore, it’s just too much for me right now. His hurt me too many times (his never cheated but there are other way you can hurt someone) and I don’t trust him anymore and I’m beginning to think that my heart can’t take it anymore. I tried to tell him that it was ending on Saturday but he thought I was saying it wasn’t working out and that we should try and fix things. But I wasn’t, I don’t want to be without him, but at the same time the mistrust hurts just the same…
Xx
Okay so I meant to update on Monday, but I was busy all week so far so I didn’t really get a chance. Well not really busy, but more didn’t really have much alone time.
Anyway!! Saturday night was pretty good until we got back to mine and my boyfriend was annoyed because I walked of with on of our mates to talk. Funny because he was upset because he likes my boyfriends sister. But my boyfriend and I ended up figuring out most of are problems which is good. It’s strange, we were the couple who never fought!! but lately that hasn’t been the case!! I’m not really like this change all that much!
So I got money today so i went and bought make up for the first time in forever so YAY!!!! and hair dye. it was dark brown now it’s just black. I actually really like it! I was worried about doing it at first, but I really wanted to dye my hair black when I was a kid (15 i think), so I thought why not!
ANYWAYS!!! I’m in a bloody god mood!!!! I don’t know if it’s the fact I have make up (which has boost my self esteem some thing shocking) or what but I was dancing around my room to Hall and Oates with my little brother not even 10 minutes ago!!! But yeah, I’m awesome!
Xx
Last night was… okay. We got to the pub after a lot of figuring out how we’d get there because my boyfriend’s car broke down. Before we left he asked me if I’d stay with him tonight. Yes I know his needy!! Any way I haven’t seen one of the girls for awhile, so I was catching up with her, telling her about last weekend and seeing how she was doing (one of her friends had recently died)., shit like that. And my boyfriend got because I wasn’t taking to him. And then when we went outside for a smoke, he didn’t say a word to me and then later on ask me why I was being so quite tonight. I was like well you haven’t really been talking to me either. . And then he tried saying that it was because I was talking to other people. I couldn’t help thing that that’s never stopped him before… I love him but I’m having trouble with him lately. Like he wants me to stay with him, but did he expect me to stand there and hold his hand while he was playing pool. I mean yes normally I would’ve played to but my best friend was there and she didn’t really know the others. That’s another thing. My best friend and boyfriend don’t like each other. She thinks his needy and because he said she was immature, she really hasn’t like him since. And he thinks she’s immature and weird… His words not mine. But when beck got there they both wave enthusiastically and acting like they don’t have a problem with each other. They both don’t know the other one has doesn’t like them. My boyfriend kind of knows, because he said that he doesn’t think she likes him being around because I never see her anymore… But really I’m over people being two face and changing who they are depending on which one of your mates are there. I really pisses me off!
Xx
It’s VERY unlike me to fall in love with anything. Especially clothing and shoes, but I saw these on the net and I nearly died!!!!!
I want! I want! I want!
(moss and spy safari dress) (marc jacobs watch) (enzo angiolini shoes)
Okay so sex last night was just strange! When I was on top he was looking straight at me and said I love you. Okay that’s cool, that I can deal with, but when he was on top he was looking pretty much anywhere but me, didn’t exactly make me feel validated. I don’t know. It was strange, one minute his in love with me and the next he won’t even look at me. Then he went to the toilet and he wasn’t even finished!! WTF!! I just rolled over and went to sleep. He came back and was like “Where were we” I just replied, “Sleeping now”. I don’t know the entire thing was weird one minute it’s all passionate and we’re both really into it and the next it was awkward and uncomfortable.
Xx
I found this awesome site called bedpost.com. What you do is enter your name, your sex partners name, the date, time, length and other details if you want. Of course this is about your sex life. It’s a novity to me right now, so it’s keeping me amused, but I’m hoping it will help with a few things with my partner and I seeing as sex doesn’t last very long. It’s good but short…
So yeah, the site is pretty good you type in your e-mail and then they send out an invertation to your email in about 10 minutes. Fun stuff :D
Xx
